Wisdom of My Father

As I reflected on the day of recognizing and honoring our fathers, I found myself reminiscing over my earliest memories of my father, the man who in his love for me bestowed on me his very own name.

I realized that some familiar passages in Sacred Scripture reminded me of him and I relived moments that I have not thought about in years.

“A wandering Aramean was my father.” Dt. 36:5

Photo by Lloyd Guerin of his parents.

The English word wander derives from the Germanic word for “wind” with a connotation of being of leisurely pace and aimless of destination. In the Hebrew text it is associated with the root word “abad” meaning to perish.

According to my Dad’s parents and siblings, abad aptly described him in his youth and as a young man – before he met and married my mother. This man I never knew, except perhaps in his joie de vivre – that energy for joy in life, which he never lost.

Photo by Lloyd Guerin of his young father.

My Daddy's Heart

One of my earnestly memories from childhood took place before I attended school. My best guess is that I was three or four and when we lived in the Ninth Ward in New Orleans on Rampart Street, downstairs from my Dad’s brother, Uncle Stanley, who was also my Godfather and a second fatherly figure for me.

When my Daddy came home from work, he loved sitting in his favorite big, soft armchair. My greatest delight was to climb up on his lap. The experience I will always remember is the time I rested my head on his chest – I was amazed at the deep thumping sound. I raised my head feeling frightened and asked, “What is that noise?”

Gazing down at me lovingly, he said, “That's my heart beating. My heart keeps me alive. You have a heart, too, but you can't hear it because you can't put your ear on your chest.”

I timidly put my ear back on his chest and listened. I will forever remember the warm, loving feeling that washed over me at that moment.

I use this image when I think of God, our Father. “A loving heartbeat” is my earliest image of God.

“Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.

Sufficient for a day is its own evil” (Mt. 6:36)

This is one Scripture verse that my father often quoted, although I didn’t discover that it’s source was the Gospel of Matthew until I was much older.

As I became too big to crawl onto his lap, my father continued to be a source of wisdom as my life grew more complex. Whenever the troubles of life in the classroom or on the school yard loomed over me, I would sit down on the floor in front of him in his armchair and confess my worst-case scenario of what could happen. It was then that would hear “Matthew 6:36” advice and somehow I felt more at peace.

God was in control of my tomorrows and his plan for me is better than my worst dreaded fears.

Dad’s Gift to All

I admired my father’s joy of living. He was always the life of the party and he knew how to deliver the punchline of a good joke. It was not unusual for someone, somewhere in the big city of New Orleans to recognize my father.

They would shout out greetings, “Eh, la bas, Coffee Man!” (He made his living selling a local blend of coffee and chicory to hundreds of customers from La Place to Empire, thus the sobriquet “Coffee Man.”) It seemed everyone knew and liked him.

It wasn’t until I matured that it finally dawned on me that all the while he was selling coffee he was giving away something priceless–spaciousness. He gave everyone the freedom to be themselves without fear of judgement or rejection.

God’s spaciousness is revealed in Exodus Chapter 34.

“The LORD, the LORD, a God gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love and fidelity, continuing his love for a thousand generations, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin; yet not declaring the guilty guiltless, but bringing punishment for their parents’ wickedness on children and children’s children to the third and fourth generation.” (Ex 34: 6-7)

(Today the sciences of psychology and epigenetics reveal the wisdom imbedded in this ancient insight.)

I assumed everyone experienced this precious gift from others, but I grew to understand that it was all too rare and that gift of my father’s spacious heart is to be appreciated all the more.

I strive to give this gift to everyone – especially my family, friends and those I companion in spiritual direction.

The spaciousness that my father granted others came from his recognition that God was in charge and granted forgiveness to him. My father could empathize with the poor and those in need and he could hobnob with men of wealth. They were all granted God’s love.

I will always remember my Dad as a champion of the underdog.

My father also was an industrious man. I thought he could build or fix anything.

In our times we would have been classified as a “blue collar” family. So his “gift bag” was not overflowing with money. We had our home on Prieur St. in the Ninth Ward, which he built with his own hands (and which still stands today in spite of hurricanes and floods). I was sent to Catholic schools and we had a summer trailer home on a small lot on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

I could go on remembering stories about the man my mother and I loved and admired so greatly, but in the end I must remember my father in the words of the prophet Micah.

He has told you, O mortal, what is good;

and what does the LORD require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)

About Lloyd Guerin:

A parishioner at Prince of Peace since 1976, Lloyd Guerin has ministered as a Spiritual Director ever since his graduation from the Cenacle Spiritual Direction Institute in 2010. He is on the Board of Directors at the Emmaus Spirituality Center since its founding in 2019.

Lloyd has enjoyed his 38-year career in the Information Technology industry as a programmer, systems analyst and manager, but enjoys his active retirement even more.

His spiritual adventure is grounded by his lived experience as a Franciscan Friar for six years in the early 1960’s. Since his first ACTS retreat in 2002 and his initiation into elder-hood at his Men’s Rites of Passage in 2007, Lloyd has served in various leadership roles promoting and supporting men’s spiritual transformation. 

Lloyd and his beloved wife, Betty, who passed away in 2011, partnered their spiritual journey throughout their 42 years of marriage. He enjoys reading, classical music, being in nature, and playing with his grandchildren.

Favorite Scripture—As Lloyd was taught in early childhood by his father in words and action: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Lk 6:38)