Planting the Seed of Love for Mary in our Hearts this May
If we believe the children’s rhyme, “April showers bring May flowers,” that probably calls to mind the joke that continues, “And what do Mayflowers bring?”
Ba-Boom. Pilgrims!
For me, it’s not “pilgrims” in the sense of that tired old joke, but pilgrims may still be a good answer. The pilgrims I am thinking about this day are those for whom the month of May means a special time, set apart, to honor Mary, Queen of Heaven and Earth.
This month we are reminded to pray the rosary more often, to seek Mary’s intercession for our needs, and to ask her to lead us to her son, Jesus.
We weave May flowers into beautiful crowns to place atop our Marian statues at home and church, and hold May processions and May crownings in honor of the Mother of Jesus.
Our Blessed Mother will be celebrated this month, from the most famous shrine and apparition sites to the humblest abodes in faraway towns and villages throughout the world. Are you one of Mary’s pilgrims?
When I was a child, my mother kept a Mary altar in the upstairs hallway of our home. I was very young and probably not even in school yet, but I knew that in that niche outside our bedrooms I could always find Mary.
There was just something about Mary that drew me in and made me feel safe.
I credit my mom for planting the seed of love for Mary deep in my child’s heart.
She likely had no idea the impression her Mary altar had on her youngest child.
My little self knew that Mary was Jesus’ mother, just like I had my own mother. Yet, in the simple way that children accept truths that are troublesome to adults, I knew that Mary was my mother, too.
I sensed, even then, that if I stayed close to her, she would teach me about Jesus and lead me to him.
As Mothers’ Day approaches, I have been thinking of my mom. She was an early casualty of COVID-19, passing into eternity in the spring of 2020, just a few weeks shy of her 100th birthday.
She became sick on Holy Thursday and died a week later, on the Friday before Divine Mercy Sunday. Catholics around the world were praying the Divine Mercy Novena that week, and I was praying along.
Because of COVID isolation, my mother was dying alone in the hospital. All I could do was pray for her peaceful death and remember her as I prayed to Jesus in the Divine Mercy Chaplet each day.
Jesus told St. Faustina[1] (Diary, 1541):
“Write that when they say this chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person, not as the just Judge but as the merciful Savior.” - St. Faustina
Those words brought me peace when the end came for my mom. I was confident, too, that Mary was by her side. “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us, now and at the hour of our death.”
Reflecting over my pilgrim journey through six-plus decades, Our Lady has been a faithful companion. Whether I realized it or not, Mary was never far from sight.
I attended St. Mary’s Grade School in Columbus, Ohio, while living in St. Mary Parish in Groveport about 10 miles away.
Both my mother and my sister attended the College of St. Mary of the Springs in Columbus, and one of the science professors from there became my mentor through my high school and college years.
When it was my time to attend college, I attended the University of Notre Dame. It took a while to dawn on me that “Notre Dame” meant “Our Lady.” (I studied German in school, not French.)
Yet, here Mary was again, standing atop the Golden Dome, watching over her campus, and watching over me.
A replica of the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes lies just behind the Basilica of the Sacred Heart at Notre Dame, within sight of the Lady on the Dome. The Grotto is a favorite place of prayer for students, faculty, and visitors to campus.
I spent many nights there in prayer, the grotto ablaze with candles, as Our Lady helped me navigate homesickness, test anxiety, and all the usual worries of young adulthood.
A few years later, when I learned of my first pregnancy, I thought of Mary. I didn’t get my news from an angel, but the news was a surprise for me, just as it was for young Mary. I was in graduate school, doing virology research, and taking classes toward my doctorate at the time, and I wondered how this was all going to work.
Mary’s example of trust in God’s plan gave me the courage to trust, too. As our family grew, I continued to rely on Mary for guidance to be a good mom and a loving spouse.
Jesus’ entrance into the world was full of wonder and mystery for Mary and Joseph. Luke 2:19 says, “Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.”
A few verses later we read, “And Simeon blessed them and said to His mother Mary, ‘Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and as a sign to be opposed—and a sword will pierce your own soul—to the end that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.’” The teen years weren’t easy, even for the Holy Family.
Luke 2:41-50 tells of finding the missing Jesus in the temple, among the rabbis. We read that after leaving Jerusalem with the young Jesus to return home, Mary “treasured all these things in her heart.” (Luke 2:51)
Those words, “treasuring all these things in her heart” and “pondering in her heart” have resonated with me through the years.
There were times, as a parent, that I had to just ponder things in my heart because I couldn’t find any helpful words to describe what I was feeling. Those were the times when I particularly felt a kinship with Mary.
One of those times was on a Friday night in February of 2006, when we received word that our 24-year-old son had been found dead in a small-town hotel in the Hill Country of Texas. He had taken his own life.
It’s hard to convey the shock and grief that overwhelmed my husband and me. Neither of us had ever known anyone to die by suicide, and our son did not have a history of mental illness.
He appeared to those around him as a happy, “life of the party”, loving friend to all. How could this be? How were we going to survive this tragedy?
This Pieta is the work of Croatian architect and sculptor, Ivan Mestrovic (1883-1962) and depicts the moments after the death of Jesus as he is taken down from the cross. Mestrovic was a professor and artist-in-residence at the University of Notre Dame from 1955 until his death in 1962. His Pieta is displayed in the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on the campus of the university.
The next day we traveled to the town where he died so that we could arrange to transport his body back home and to learn more about his last hours. As I looked at my son’s body for the last time at the mortuary in that small town, I thought of Mary holding the body of Jesus at the foot of the cross.
I pondered so much in my heart that day, and for many months to come. No words were adequate to express what was in my heart, but I knew that Mary understood what I was suffering.
My pilgrimage journey continues, and Our Blessed Mother is still by my side.
Our Lady’s University remains a favorite spot for my husband and me. It is where we met as students, and it is also where our first-born son met his wife when they were college students under the dome.
We visit Our Lady’s grotto to pray and to light candles for our loved ones every time we return to campus. We have even arranged to be interred under the protection of the Golden Dome when our journey in this life is complete.
Bob Zerda, Kathy's husband whom she met while attending Notre Dame in college, lights a candle at the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes. This still remains one of their most special spots on campus.
In 2018, as God’s plan would have it, I began a course of study at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence School of Spiritual Direction, a ministry of (you guessed it) the Marian Servants of Divine Providence.
I am now serving as a spiritual director and am a Companion of the Marian Servants of the Incarnate Wisdom in Houston.
Mary and I are still journeying together towards her beloved Son. Won’t you join us?
I wish you the most blessed month of May, and I pray that Our Lady will make her presence known to you in wonderful ways along your own pilgrim journey!
May the Virgin Mary, crowned Queen, intercede for us… that we [may] imitate her in faithfully fulfilling God’s will on earth, to join her one day in the heavenly Jerusalem. In every situation of our life, let us invoke her with trust: “Queen of all saints, pray for us!” – Pope John Paul II
About Kathy Zerda:
Kathy Zerda has been married to Bob for 43 years and has three children, one of whom they lost to suicide at the age of 24. Kathy grew up in Columbus, OH, and is a cradle Catholic that has attended Prince of Peace Catholic Community in Houston for 37 years. She met Bob at the University of Notre Dame where she earned a degree in microbiology. After earning a doctorate in virology at the Baylor College of Medicine, she has worked as a research scientist, engineering manager, and university professor. She and Bob are now enjoying retirement and grandchildren, Kathy, who is a spiritual director for her parish, has served in numerous ministries over the years, most recently LOVING STONES of CHRIST apostolate and Women in the Spirit Retreat. She and Bob also actively support suicide prevention and mental health initiatives, and are past board members of the Guardian Angel Educational Fund that supports the education of indigenous Mayan children in Guatemala.
Favorite Scripture: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11)
[1] Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska Divine Mercy in My Soul. 1987. Congregation of the Marians of the Immaculate Conceptions, Eden Hill, Stockbridge, Massachusetts 01262
[2] https://www.nationalshrine.org/blog/celebrating-marys-queenship-of-heaven-and-earth/ 4/30/2022
